“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

In this one short and sweet proverb there is so much. I have heard this often in my life and honestly there was a time that I wondered can that really be true? I mean I have watched kids who it seemed were brought up right ( that is at least what I thought ) they were “taken to church”, bible classes, looked great outwardly, from my perspective they knew the way that they should go, and then…they departed from it!

So how can this proverb really be true? I recently read a book called Habits By: Charolette Mason that made me think a little more about the idea of training up a child. Let us consider some thoughts and think about the wording used in the scripture, as well as consider other scriptures, to help us better understand what this means.

You must TRAIN UP the child! And that is not a simple task. Though things like involvement in the church, bible classes, even discipline to a certain extent can have a great influence on your child, if these things are not done right, they can have little effect on the whole being of your child and before you know it the outside influence of the world is greater than yours and children depart from the way that you “told” them they should go.

Now why did I put quotations around that word told, I believe something important must be understood, and that is that getting our children to understand The Way is so much more than just telling them, the way, or even showing them the way, but it requires training them in the way that they should go.

I really love this analogy of habits, they are like ruts in the road, you drive that same path over and over creating ruts in the road, so after long enough you have created ruts so deep that you start to slip out of it, and it takes much more effort to go out, we usually end up falling right back in. This is as the habits we lay down in our minds and daily actions. Our thought patterns, and lifestyles are like well worn paths as we get older that we naturally just travel on.

Now this can be good or bad obviously, this book was very eye opening to me to see within myself many habits, that I unknowingly have been just in the rut of the path that I have been going on most my of my life, it’s clear to me that I need to repave some roads, and create some new ruts with persistence. This won’t be an easy task but I know it will be worth it not only for myself but for my children. And it starts within…

Before the outward work I must do the inward work, or it would be in vain! And what a shame it would be to put all of the effort into something like good habits just for the sake of how others will perceive me. Train a child up in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. This fails us when it is done in vain.

“But all their works they do to be seen by men. They make their phylacteries broad and enlarge the borders of their garments.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭23‬:‭5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭23‬:‭28‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The Pharisees and scribes whom Jesus was speaking to in the verses above, received some of the harshest words from Jesus and rightfully so they had it all backwards they were outward focused, and hypocritical. We must start this habit training with genuine consideration of ourselves and our motives, to take care as we train up our children, with a love for the Lord and the truth, and a prayerful attitude.

“Mothers thoughts show on her children like painters in their paintings.” -Habits page 19

Our children observe so much of us, you know this quote from the book really got me thinking, I try my best outwardly to be the best example to my children but I do forget inwardly I also must be that example, now I know they dont know all of my innermost thoughts, but some of them I’m sure unknowingly come out on to my children. After all we do read these verses and they are sobering reminders to keep our thoughts clean and pure.

“And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.””
‭‭Mark‬ ‭7‬:‭20‬-‭23‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

“As in water face reflects face, So a man’s heart reveals the man.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭27‬:‭19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Understanding our thoughts as habits is so important we can be habitual negative thinkers, doubters, or judgmental, to the point where we don’t even realize that we are thinking this way, and so many thoughts just naturally transform into our actions. Which is why it is important to be intentional, in considering our thoughts.

“A mothers duty, is to cultivate good habits within herself, with great tact, watchfulness, and persistence.” -Habits

I often find myself in a never ending cycle, of picking up a new habit, it working great for a few weeks and then a slight change in our schedule and we are back at square one as if we had never implemented anything new. This is where I found it important to consider persistence. Persistence is key!! Well worn paths don’t happen overnight, or over a week, maybe in a month they may start to become a little more obvious but definitely not the deep rut that we are talking about, those take years to create.

So what must I do when the changes hit, the lulls, or the times where I want to give myself or my children a break? It is in these times that it is of the utmost importance that I consider, my goals, those good habits that I am trying to form within myself and my children, the making of these well worn paths that will set us up for success in life. For example when running a marathon, and you start to get worn out with the run, you don’t keep yourself going by thinking of how difficult it is to run, or how bad your body hurts, most people who think that way would probably not finish the run, but you keep yourself going by thinking of your goals. Your immediate goal might be to complete the race, but you may also have some long term goals that you are also thinking of as you are trying to keep yourself going, like becoming a stronger athlete, or whatever it may be. We should apply this to our mentality of habit building understanding that we must be persistent and especially watchful of our behaviors and thought patterns.

“Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us

exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. (Goals)

But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.” (Consequences)
‭‭II Peter‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬-‭9‬ ‭NKJV‬

I boldened some spots in the verse above not because those are the only important parts, the whole verse itself is one of my favorites, but to show that is is important to remember the great promises that are told to us just as we would goals in running a race there are spiritual goals that are the promises we are given when overcoming this world! They are great to remind ourselves of when things in life feels too difficult. Then as the verse goes on, we read some qualities that follow an add to, so it begins with faith and then we add to it. As you read the verse above we see where perseverance comes in, because God knows us so well, that He (through this letter written by Peter) reminds us that there will be difficult times in your life that you must persevere through. As you persevere and continue on in adding to your faith the other qualities that we find in the verse above we begin to form this path in ourselves and in our children that becomes automatic to who we are through our habits. Which is the training that we should want not only for our children but also ourselves. Because as we also read above when we lack those qualities we become short sighted, even to blindness.

Being short sighted or blind would make life very difficult, as a parent. This is obviously spiritually, so think about that for a second, short sightedness is being unable to see things clearly unless they are relatively close, or in lacking foresight. Foresight as a parent helps you to make decisions that provide a better outcome for your future, and that goes for children as well, but children don’t often have this ability which is why they need parents to TRAIN them.

“A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, But the simple pass on and are punished.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭3‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Which brings this post full circle…

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22‬:‭6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

My ultimate goal as a mother is teach my children to be obedient to the gospel of Christ. How do I teach them this if I am not living the example myself?

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭12‬:‭13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

What kind of habits are you training your children in? What kind of habits do you have? are they bettering your family or are they hurting your family?

I know for myself, there are many habits that I need to remove, some improve, and some that I need to bring in altogether. I highly recommend this book for reading yourself in it there is a list of habits in the back, that are helpful to consider for bettering your life. But more importantly I would recommend having a healthy understanding of Gods word the Bible and starting there if there is anything I can help with please do comment. We are living in a world that is lacking truth in so many ways!

Thanks for reading!

Habits: The Mother’s Secret to Success (Charlotte Mason Topics) https://a.co/d/4cpeybU